Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Half Bad Boy Hero - Chad Reed Wins St. Louis

Let me be the first to congratulate Chad Reed on his awesome victory in the St. Louis Supercross. What's that you say? He's already been congratulated? Well, then I guess I won't be the first to congratulate him. I want to do it anyway.

Chad Reed is a true half bad boy hero. He participates in one of the most bad-boy sports on the planet, and does so at a top level. He expects nothing less than the best of himself, but he truly loves the competition. And who was the first person he thanked on the podium this week? His wife Ellie.

Oh yeah. That's what a half bad boy is all about.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Eating Humble Pie (but just a nibble)

After my last post, I have to give some credit to Krista Voda, who, in her podium interview with Jeremy McGrath last Saturday, said, "He definitely is the king of Supercross."

Of course, we already knew that. Until someone at least ties his record of seven Supercross titles, he will always be the king. But it was nice hear Krista say it; it means either she started learning about Supercross, or someone is telling her what to say so she doesn't say something stupid. Either way, it is an improvement.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

How To Be A Supercross Announcer

I hear that Supercross is the fastest growing action sport in the US today. If you are a Supercross racer, or if you are a spectator, whether live or on TV, or if you ride or support their sponsors, congratulations: You are helping Supercross to grow.
Unfortunately, if you are Supercross TV announcer for Speed or CBS, I'm sorry: You are not helping Supercross to grow. You are helping position Supercross as a sport for stupid people.

I don't mean "stupid" as in, "You'd have to be stupid to try to blitz those whoops." I mean "stupid" as in, "I wonder if these people passed elementary school?"

I know there are some good Supercross announcers, but this is only because I am a long-time fan. Any new person watching Supercross on TV would have to assume that it is a sport for stupid people. They would arrive at this conclusion the moment they heard these people speak; they would remark to themselves, "I've never even seen a real motocross motorcycle in person, and I know more about this sport than they do." Where are you, Jamie Little??? Where are you, David Bailey???

Alas, we are stuck with Ralph "I Wish I Could Go Through Puberty" Sheheen, Denny "It Is So Hard To Construct A Sentence" Stephenson, and Krista "I Am Blonde For A Reason" Voda.

Krista is by far the worst. A typical Krista moment was at San Francisco this year, amidst the rain and mud. Broc Glover was explaining to Krista how the mud tires are self-cleaning, designed to cause the mud to remove itself from the tires. Krista turned to the camera and said, "Self-cleaning tires? I wish I had that in my oven." At which point my wife and I looked at each other, and I said, "She wants self-cleaning tires in her oven??"

I shouldn't complain too loudly. Speed and CBS, we Supercross fans do appreciate you broadcasting Supercross on TV and we continue to support you by watching. But do you think you could do something about the announcers? That's really all we're asking.

What It Means That Superbowl XL Is Over

Superbowl XL is over. What does this mean? What do we learn from this? What happens now that is is over?

We learn that:
  1. There are no good NFC teams.
  2. Controlling almost the whole game doesn't mean that you are going to win.
  3. Being inept almost the whole game doesn't mean that you are going to lose.
  4. The first strategic point in Seattle's two-minute drill is, "Everybody go into panic mode."
  5. The second strategic point in Seattle's two-minute drill is, "Whatever has worked so far, do the opposite."
  6. The third strategic point in Seattle's two-minute drill is, "Whatever you do, DO NOT STOP THE CLOCK."
  7. Good things don't always happen to good people. Sometimes, good things happen to a bunch of haughty, arrogant jerks.
What it means:
  1. Eleven more months until the best football games of the year are on TV again.
  2. Now I don't have to worry about missing my favorite NFL team on TV in order to watch Supercross.
  3. Hopefully Jerome Bettis will finally retire, and by doing so, bring the average NFL player's IQ up by a good 80 points or so.