Rules for Driving

Well, since I gave you the rules for parking, I thought I probably ought to also supply the rules for driving. Like the rules for parking, if you are a half bad boy, you already know these rules.

By the way, I wish to assert the belief that anyone who drives stupidly and thus causes road rage that escalates into a tragic circumstance shares some of the responsibility. No, I don't know if I really believe that.

1. Don't speed in residential areas. Hey, there are kids at play. Do I really need to explain this one? Nobody thinks you are a stud for speeding through the neighborhood. Mostly, we think you are a jerk.
2. Pay attention to the speed limit - and drive it. Nothing causes me more road rage than someone who isn't driving the speed limit, blocking traffic.
3. The left lane is for passing. Not simple cruising. This is mostly for people in Colorado who suffer from CDD. Hey, Coloradans - get out of the fast lane!
4. Know where you are going before you leave. This might seem obvious but if you have ever driven a car in Utah or Idaho you know that it is not. People will be driving down the road, two lanes each way, in the right lane, and suddenly decide they need to turn left. Right now. Did they forget where they were going? Or did they just decide?
5. Driving is not a contest. If someone passes you, it is not a personal attack. Really.
6. Don't make unprotected left turns across heavy traffic. This is how accidents happen. Turn right and go the "long way." You'll find it is probably actually quicker. (BTW, "unprotected" = "lacking a traffic sign or light that gives you right of way.")
7. Horsepower is a safety feature. It gets you out of trouble in a pinch. So floor that sucker! When the light changes, get a move on! We're waiting back here.
8. Your car is a reflection of your personality. You drive a Citroen 2CV? I don't know what to say about you.
9. If you have an awesome stereo, you can listen to whatever you want as loudly as you like.
10. When you are done driving and get home, park in the garage. The garage is not a big storage shed for all your crap. If you can't fit your car in the garage, get rid of some crap. Yes, I know this sounds like a rule for parking. It kind of crosses over.