Summary: Riddled with poor acting, inexplicable and illogical events, and poor acting, the only highlight of this CGI showcase was Jessica Alba in a bikini. Oh wait - it didn't have Jessica Alba in a bikini.Grade: D-
Memo to Hollywood: Great special effects are not enough to save a terrible movie. I don't know if you are listening or not. This has been going on long enough, and we won't stand for it anymore!
Ok, that was a lie. But could you please at least try to create a real movie?
About This Movie
There are five people with requiste snappy-sounding names: Reed Richards, Ben Grimm, Johnny Storm, Sue Storm, and Victor Von Doom. How they are related is as follows: Reed and Sue used to be together, but aren't, but are still in love with each other. Victor and Reed used to be friends, but aren't, and Victor is hot for Sue who works for him. Johnny used to work for Ben but now Ben works for Reed while Johnny parties. Johnny and Sue are siblings but don't really like each other. Victor is rich and Reed is poor. Oh, and somewhere along the line cosmic radiation alters their DNA.
The Best Part About This DVD Is...
... the closing credits. That's when you know the movie is over!
The Worst Part About This DVD Is...
... so many things that just don't make any sense. For example, do you really want me to believe that someone who looks like Sue Storm could be hopelessly smitten over someone that looks like Reed Richards? I mean no offense, but come on. And then what about the part where Ben Grimm says, all patriarchically, "There is nothing like the love of a good woman," not long before his supposedly rock-solid relationship dissolves like an Alka-Seltzer in water? And how is it that five human beings (which are all nearly identical genetically) exposed to the same cosmic storm are all affected differently, but their suits (which are identical materially, but are of a completely different makeup than the wearers) happen to be altered exactly the same as the person wearing them? Can someone explain to me why the zippers on everyone's suits seem to go all the way up except Sue Storm's?
And that's not even the best one. Reed Richards, the supposed intellectual genius, devises a plan whereby, in order to reverse the effects of the cosmic storm, he will attempt to expose them to the exact same type of radiation that caused the problem in the first place. ??? Isn't that like hitting someone in the face with a baseball bat, and then saying, "Hey, I know how to fix that broken face. Let me hit you again!"
The Bottom Line
I guess maybe they thought that anyone with any education would be able to tell from the trailers that they should steer clear of this mess. I certainly should have.
