An Apple n00b @ WWDC, Day 3

Day 3 at WWDC, well, I was admittedly a little bit afraid to even head back there today. It seems like I keep running into those Black Ponytails. Usually it is only just one of them at a time, but I was a bit concerned what might happen if I ran into all of them at once.

However, it seemed that the day would go pretty well. I walked in to Moscone West and noticed that nearly all of the slobber had evaporated off of the bust of Steve. I attended some great sessions and picked up some ultra-top-secret software provided to all attendees that I can't discuss or even admit publicly that I have. I even stopped at the Apple Store and bought myself an Apple T-shirt, wondering aloud at the fact that Apple could get people to buy their t-shirts at their own conference when at Novell we had to give them away to get anyone to take them (with the exception of the awesome "Got Linux?" t-shirts, those were really special).

It was the last session of the day and I'd done pretty good at keeping myself out of trouble. My final session of day 3 had to do with scripting on the Mac. When we got to Q&A, I stood up to ask my question:

"Eric is a really great Python IDE available as open source on Linux. Have you considered providing and supporting Eric on Mac in your developer tools? That would really be awesome."

About the time I muttered the word "Linux," every head in the audience turned on a swivel to scowl menacingly in my direction. Displaying obvious disdain and exercising the greatest of patience, the presenter took a deep breath and then replied measuredly: "Xcode is already a great Python tool. There is no need for Mac to attempt to copy anything that is being done by Linux."

I apologized and turned to sit down, but not before I noticed the Black Ponytails sitting a number of rows ahead of me.

I tried to leave the session quickly but my exits seemed blocked at every turn, almost as though it were a coordinated effort. Finally I exited and started my long walk up the corridor toward the common area. Suddenly I found myself surrounded by Black Ponytails.

"Hey, check it out, it's the Linux boy!"

"Yeah Linux boy! Maybe we should make the Mac more like Linux! Lol!" (Yes, he really said "lol".)

They all laughed as the started shoving me back and forth between them. Mockingly, one said, "Ooh, check me out! I compile my own kernel!"

"Looky what I can do! I know how to use a command line!" sneered another.

Then with another shove they got serious. "Look here, you Linux baby! You infant! Linux is nothing compared to FreeBSD! Compared to Darwin, the core upon which heaven's own OS is based - Mac OS X!"

"Hey, guys, I know! I like FreeBSD! I just come from a Linux background, that's all!" I protested.

"Shut your hole, Linux baby. Who invited you here anyway?" With that, I felt a huge shove in the back and fell into the sizable girth of the guy in front of me. "Who said you could touch me, Linux baby?" he threatened.

Just when I thought all hope was lost, I heard Dan and Zach call out to me, "Hey Matt!" The Black Ponytails looked around casually, then dispersed as if by a signal. I had escaped certain demise.

I spent the rest of the evening at the Apple Design Awards and the Stump the Experts night. I thought perhaps if the Black Ponytails saw me there they would realize that I really wasn't such a bad guy. Unfortunately, I'm not sure they saw me; they were on the other side of the very large room, engaged in what seemed to be a very intense coding session. But maybe they caught a glimpse; maybe they will still give me a chance.